jsecure
2 min readSep 5, 2021

Actually he is fine. He is no pervert. The scenario is that you and he are assessing each other for compatibility for marriage; a lifelong commitment. One of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage is a healthy sex life. There is nothing perverted about sex within marriage. There is nothing perverted about sex outside of marriage either for that matter. His questions are careful and well placed. Asking how many sexual encounters you have had gives an idea of your experience. Asking what positions you like gives him an idea of your preferences. It shows he is considering your needs. But actually there is one hidden question he is asking. By asking you these questions at all he is also asking about your mental approach to sex. Do you find it embarrassing, dirty, humiliating? Some people are not burdened by so much guilt and repression around sex. They are open sexually and are happy to ask for what they want in bed, and they are keen to understand and please their partner. By asking these questions he can get a sense of you are like this, or perhaps you have a more inexperienced attitude to sex. Perhaps you think someone is a pervert even just for discussing sex. Even in the context of a discussion about compatibility for marriage. I think this guy will go on to be quite a nice lover for his eventual partner, but I think with you he would quickly be unhappy. You are too repressed about sex. You think it is shameful and talking about it makes someone a pervert. He is not a pervert. He is just more open about sex.

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jsecure
jsecure

Written by jsecure

I live in London and have worked as a software developer for the last 20 years.

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