I don't really find this to be true. I'm married now but before that I was young(er), very earnest and eager and fully bought into the Disney idea of true love. I would write beautiful long messages to women on dating sites. I made sure to cite the interests they had on their profiles. I got a 30 foot high wall of silence. It was shocking. But I tried, tried, and tried again. Occasionally I'd get a date with a girl who in hindsight, was clearly just dating me for the nice dinner in the fancy restaurant. Being in my late thirties now I can do a lot of soul searching and look at myself in the mirror, and I finally realise I'm not hideous; I'm actually kind of nice looking. I'm OK.
Anyway, one day I was bored. Or in a silly mood, whatever. I created a new profile and googled "Hot guy" and uploaded some random photo. Wow. I got replies to even the dumbest messages. It was shocking. I started out writing nice messages, and then I went down to "hi" and still got huge replies. Finally I started messaging silly things like "I'm up for a one night stand, are you?" and I got these super enthusiastic replies - even from the "good" girls who seemed smart and studious and kind and who had of course, blacklisted me before I even entered the room.
That was my Truman show moment. The bit where he pounds his fist into the concrete sky and realises it was fake all along. It wasn't me. I didn't just happen to not click with those women. I didn't come off too needy, or not attentive enough. Because I don't have the looks of a model my card was marked from the moment I was born. I have a good job; I earn plenty but honestly so what. You're dating me, not my salary. But I realised that day, "me" is an undesirable product. If you're not a male model or use gel in your hair, you can forget it.
It taught me a lot about my worth in this world. These days I'm a lot more careful with my idea of my own worth, and careful who I choose to spend my time with. I know that most of the women alive today will have judged, and rejected me, long before I even open my mouth to say hi. But I've made my peace with it. And I'm married now. But it's a bit depressing.
